Blind Faith

I am one who must know the future at all times. This is, of course, against God's plan for our lives. But repeated reminders through meditation and my talks with God do not keep me from seeking. After all, stubbornness is one of my key virtues. Sometimes--often, in fact--things are revealed to me through symbols in my dreams and in waking visions. It is encouraging to interpret these symbols and I have seen these prophetic images come true. But always, I am told to be patient and learn my lessons like a good girl. Certain things must remain covered, I am told.

Lately, I have been going through a series of difficult twists and turns in my faith walk. My economic security hangs in the balance. The last time this happened, I had a dream in which I found myself tied to a rope and hanging by my feet high above a hard concrete floor. Dangling and in a state of panic, I called for help from those closest to me. No one was able to assist. And then, the tension eased completely and I was lowered gently to the floor, feet first--stocking feet. I slid across the smooth surface of the polished concrete like a ballerina, released with so much warmth of love and protection. The message was clear: "I have you. Why do you fear?" And He did.

So here I am again, dangling from the rope. Last week, the tension was huge, and I awoke one morning and the next, meeting my day in absolute submission, overcome by love and in a state of consciousness which I recognize now as my "awakened self." And God the Father, as I call this voice that speaks to me, was drawing ever so near. I lit my meditation candle and immediately covered my eyes, both mornings, instinctively, obediently. (I have since learned that this is a self-healing method in Reiki, the laying on of hands.) Again, the message was clear. I will not be allowed to see everything. "Be patient," I was told. "I see the way ahead and I have made a way for you. Where should your attention be? I have freed you from worry. Be at peace." I have never known such faithfulness. I have never been so loved.