Going Deeper Into the Forest to Find the Light

I am back after more than three years away because of another's excellent post on having the north node in Aquarius (google search), which is the central guiding light of my journey. My north node in Aquarius.

I've been writing screenplays, hoping to get a message of love and healing out to the masses. I've written two and I'm in the midst of writing another. I call it my "rose trilogy."

My quest, as a soul, is to keep going deeper into the forest, the "dark" places, where few of us like to journey. This life, all past and future lives, connected. It's thick with overgrowth, invasive species, with gnarled branches and hidden caves. What I learn on my own journey, I write about. I bring things to light, so that we can all look at them together.

It's a healing journey, if you desire it. We are all wounded warriors trying to find our way back to our tribes. And it is true that as deep as the darkness is that we've created, so, too, is the power and intensity of the light that greets us on the other side.

Go into the forest.

An artist's depiction of Lady Nada, ascended master. Her symbol is the rose. She helps us in our efforts to experience unconditional love and forgiveness. She guides us toward providing relief for the oppressed. I have come to believe that she is a major unseen influence in my current incarnation, as I write what I call my "Rose Trilogy." Never a conscious decision on my part. The symbol of the Rose came through years ago. As with so many things in my life, first I get the symbols and the pieces. Then I put everything together and get the revelation. To that extent, the major influences in my life, I am definitely going with the flow. All of my screenplays are about unconditional love and forgiveness. Gateway deals specifically with the oppressed, the reviled and the forgotten.

Gateway

Just completed my second screenplay called "Gateway." I'm on a roll.

Off Latitudes

This is not my country
I am off latitudes
Off longitudes
My country is far away
Rich in mystery
Criss-crossed in ancient voyages
Life delivered up in violent motion
Whispers of a deeper wisdom
A truth more stark
From which no man can turn away
It lies across a vast expanse--its voice resonate
A void
Open
Drawing me in

This is not my country
I am wrecked upon these shores with unfinished business
Voyaging
It is old here
Life turning in upon itself
I do not disparage it
It has its place
But it is not mine
Not today
Not tomorrow
Not ever
My country is restless in its seeking
There is a longing for new life
New adventure
New discoveries
There is always more
"You know nothing
Because I am still creating it"

This is not my country
My country rises up out of the endless sea like a beacon of light
Spilling over with energy and spirit
Purposeful
Faithful
Resolute
"I am waiting
Make your peace
I will not change"
Soon, I respond
All compass points turn and listen
Mark the journey home

The Big Picture

I've been busy, so I haven't written many blog posts lately. I just finished writing my first screenplay. Something I did in my off hours from my regular work as a writer. It's about mothers and daughters, mostly, but there's plenty of romance, too. I'm hopin' it rocks those Hollywood readers and makes it to the big screen some day. There's a second one comin' up underneath about a Jesuit priest. Tonally different in every way. But still about parenting, unconditional love, sacrifice and irony. I see a thematic style here...

Spiritual Back Flip

I woke up two days ago in an ugly mood. Suddenly, the veil lifted from my eyes concerning my current, very controversial employer. I knew this employer had a sordid past, but I had managed to put it into a positive light for months. New beginnings. I was there to help.

But two days ago, I was in a dark funk. I allowed myself to sink into the emotional quicksand that must have swallowed most of the long-time employees. I hated everyone. I avoided people. I contemplated looking for a new job. I was unforgiving. The honeymoon was over.

But then, as always happens, the Universe came in and showed me why I was there. Magically, the whole situation did a backflip by the end of the afternoon, and I saw how much my being there positively affected the entire organization. Over the course of several months, God had systematically placed me in a unique position, so that I could touch many lives at the organization, all the way up to the new CEO. All of this without my understanding or assistance.

I'm a communicator by trade. I've had a variety of jobs in communications. Employee communications, of late. And lately, I take pics, too. God has cleverly had me taking pics of all the top execs at this 5,000-employee company. They see me and they do the double take...Now, how do I know her again?

So there I was, still in a dark, dark funk, on my way to an assignment. I had volunteered to take pics the week before, and I was angry with myself for doing so. Just as I was leaving one building to get to the next, who should show up? The two top men in the company. Grrrr. So I am now unintentionally parading the two of them across the long pedestrian bridge, across the massive lobby, and into the hall where hundreds of employees are gathering to hear them speak. They weren't quite sure which room, so I pointed them in the right direction, and I held the door for them when I arrived. The big guy seemed to remember me. He made a point of smiling and saying "hi." A look of recognition in his eyes. Asked me how I was. I was still in a funk, but I smiled brightly back, said I was fine. Well, that did it.

God has a sense of humor. Soon, I was taking photos, workin' the room, making people feel good about themselves, casting my light on the execs, the rank and file, the whole room. I had returned to love. Oh, He's a clever one.

Manifesting

Manifesting...or as my favorite astropersonality says...lightcasting...is so much fun. Take your challenges in life and turn them around. Convert them into affirmations, positive verbal expressions of what you KNOW to be your true path in life. Try it as an experiment. See what you can bring about out of spirit (or light). You will soon discover the power of your own words to manifest your experience here on the planet. And you'll discover that what you choose as your affirmation...I usually have a few going that I recite together...was truly your destiny all along. But now, you have become an active participant as a co-creator with God...an act of free will...directing your path. God wants to have relationship with you in His holy nature. We are not pawns in a game. We are more powerful in love and light...made in His image...truly children of God. We shall inherit the Earth.

New Year Challenges

Tidying up details of my recent past. Setting off in a major new direction, with my teachers and spiritual guides beside me. Pluto in my second house of personal values to stay for awhile, probably bringing me to the close of my time here on the planet, at end. Less is more. Refinement, being clear about what and who I am. I travel light. I am learning the joy of living from the heart, and not from material circumstances. To be in the world, but not of it.

Jupiter in my fourth house of home and family, a place of constant change and revolutionary ideas, as Uranus and Aquarius are always interwoven in my chart. Feeds my creative work. Brings freedom to ideas and self-expression. I am becoming more unconventional, more courageous, more willing to break with the past.

Uranus comes into a seven year cycle this year in my house of romance, so there will be experimentation, new relationships, a rising tide of involvements with those not of my background and culture meant to open new windows into my soul, growth and healing. This is dangerous ground for me, so I keep my daily affirmations close and draw upon the wisdom I have gained so far from Pluto's tour of my second house of self-worth, personal values.

And finally, Saturn, has taken up residence for two and a half years in my house of friends and deepest aspirations. I am being thrust into a heavy period of rubbing up against those souls with whom I share this life, by cosmic design, and those long cherished dreams of mine. It is a beautiful time for me, but one not without pain and sorrow, for we do not always get what we want when we want it, and there is the karmic thread that sometimes violently jerks at our emotions and physical desires. As great as my blessings are, so, too, my sorrows run deep. Thrusting upward, I reach higher than ever before, determined more than ever to manifest my destiny and accomplish my life's purpose. Nothing's going to change my world. I am resolute.

I share this video with you on the day of the full moon. For those of you for whom it resonates, god bless and be at peace as we march confidently into 2010.

Here Comes the Central Sun

In the '60s, we often talked about "vibes." Vibrations exist throughout the Universe and affect all life. The vibrations coming from the Central Sun call us to transform our lower natures and to raise our consciousness, both individually and as a planet, to a higher frequency. Open your heart to Love. This is more than a nice Hallmark greeting. It is an alchemical union with the Divine Spirit for which no textbooks or classes are needed. In fact, no one need show you how it is done, how to make the connection, for it is all done for those who would surrender themselves to its welcoming embrace. The process of ascension is encoded into your DNA ready to spiral up upon your command. Awaken. Find your true power and abundance as a Co-creator with God. Manifest Love. Ask and you shall receive. This is your true calling.

Bright October

October has always been my favorite month. Maybe it's because my Moon is in Libra. Or because the colors of autumn appeal to my fiery Sagittarian nature.

This October is especially appealing. Jupiter, my ruling planet, the planet of expansion and good fortune, goes direct October 12. Finally, his influence, in my third house of communication, siblings and travel, returns.

Not only that, but after two and a half years, Saturn finally comes off my career sector and enters my house of friends and aspirations. And I am ready.

Saturn in Libra is also a Saturn Return for me, my second in this lifetime. What karmic challenges have been set for me? Bring them on. What will be the result of all of this hard work these last 30 years? It all makes sense to me...this emphasis on relationships, career, aspirations...I am definitely entering a new, major phase in my life.

October is a wonderful time to bring balance and harmony into your life...to embrace that Great Centering Middle Way that Buddha talks about. Sure, it is wonderful to be blessed with material well-being on this planet, but it's only by cultivating inner joy, and in nurturing deep spiritual growth and a love for others, that we find eternal bliss. Find yours!

A World of Color

I received this image in one of those email blasts from a friend. Wildflowers on a Bakersfield, California hillside--a reminder about just how beautiful the Earth really is and how important it is for all of us to open our eyes and be grateful for what we've been given.

The new moon in Virgo yesterday, coupled with Mercury retrograde, signals the opportunity to begin again, to re-examine and to make sense of what we're doing. Virgo brings order and clarity to any situation.

Two other planetary factors also come into play. Saturn, the planet of limitation and karma, is in opposition to Uranus, the planet of revolution. So there is a struggle between the traditional and the new in all of our lives. Pluto has also changed direction and is now moving forward. Pluto is the planet of deep soul transformation.

If ever there was a time to ask yourself what it is you really want, now is the time. Life can be as colorful as we make it. Bring your whole sense of self, all of your gifts, to your journey, and sprinkle your path with lilac, and oranges, yellows, blues and greens. Go wild and watch as your life begins to flower!

'A Return to Love'

What a wonderful book "A Return to Love" is. Published in 1993, it is Marianne Williamson's popular book about what we are all learning to do here...as the Nada Surf song says....to "Always Love." This lesson seems simple enough, but in practice, it is excruciatingly difficult. So it's a life-long lesson that we keep written on our hearts. I know I do, and when I forget, God reminds me. How many, many times have I been placed in a situation that tests my commitment to Love. Oh, yeah, we say. I got it. I got it. But do we? Ha! He is a relentless God. Always perfecting Himself. Don't expect to ever get off the hook.

And how blessed we are to be children of God. The only joy to be found in the world is in His Love. No compromises people. If we are to build a better world, we need to work it. Her book contains that famous quote from "A Course in Miracles" largely, and incorrectly, attributed to Nelson Mandela: "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us."

I read her book and then I picked it up immediately and started reading in again...do it! God bless you, Marianne. Another go-to-source book for this soul journey.

Mr. Jackson

I knew I admired his talent, but I had no idea the depth of my love for him. It's like a light went out in the firmament. I am inconsolable...returning to youtube again and again to find him. Check out his rehearsal videos. He was such an amazing talent. I am inconsolable.

Missin' Joe

We Miss You Joe. Gone since 12/22/2002. Come back. Come back...the world is a lonelier place with you gone. We'll build a fire. Come back... :-)

Look to the Light

My mother-in-law had a saying..."Life is a veil of tears." I loved my mother-in-law, but I didn't share her view. It was the view of someone who suffered from depression. Her illness kept her enslaved and in a place where there was no hope. She refused all medication and treatment for her depression, except the bottle. My mother-in-law died young, just as she always said she would. I do not know the reasons why she chose to live her life the way she did, but she was a cautionary tale to those of us who watched her slow spiral into the dark abyss.

When we are wrapped in darkness, the world does look bleak and we do see it through our suffering and tears. But that truly isn't how life is. Life is a joyous journey toward the light. Even in our darkest moments, there is always a light shining somewhere that brings the message of love with it. Your ability to work your spiritual vision, to see through the darkness, is worth developing, because your life is worth fighting for. All of us are here for a reason and it is up to each of us to discover what that reason is. No one can tell us what our truth is. So yes, it can be hard at times. If it were that simple, we'd all go home tomorrow.

Look to the light. You can do it!

Awakening

Everyone is talking about 2012, the Mayan calendar and the Earth shifting into the Fifth Dimension. Fascinating talk. I do believe in spiritual evolution, but I draw my own conclusions as to how this will manifest. One very significant, personal encounter with the higher dimensions, however, convinced me that man is not merely acting independently, but collectively.

In November 2006, I was involved in deep spiritual study, meditating daily over books and web sites on such topics as Buddhism, the Aquarian Age and kundalini yoga. One afternoon, as I was reading online, I read the word “lotus” and was instantly struck by spiritual lightening. I have had a few mystical experiences in my life that I consider major milestones, and this was one of them. My heart was pierced by an outside force that sent tremors of emotion throughout my entire being. It was an eruption. I burst into tears upon seeing that word and had to get up from my seat to bear the force, crying uncontrollably, while waves of healing emotion and telepathic messages flooded my spirit. This wave of spiritual activity continued for at least 20 minutes, probably longer. It was life changing. In fact, for weeks afterward—and I mean weeks and weeks—I walked around in a kind of dizzying bliss with great love for my fellow man.

What I received during that momentous opening of my heart chakra—which allowed the free flow of God’s healing energy to flow up and down through my crown chakra—was an act of evolution, not just within my own soul, but one in harmony with the oneness of the human soul. I heard the telepathic voice of what I believe was an Ascended Master. The ability to discern spiritual voices is one of my developing gifts. I was given the words “The Great Perfection.” (I had never heard this expression before.) And I was warned not to interfere with “another’s journey.” That directive is still rooted in my heart, and I am not quite sure exactly what was meant, but I am careful with my new awareness.

As a result of that afternoon’s opening of my heart and crown chakras, I gained an increased ability to receive telepathic messages from other dimensions; improved communication and recognition of my spirit guides and guardian angels; lucid dreaming; a deeper connection to the collective and a deeper love for all of mankind; an increased ability to manifest into the material world that which is given to me in spirit; and a growing awareness of my soul’s past lives and it’s unfolding mission in the present one.

Two years after that mind-blowing event, something led me to an old Google video featuring UFO watcher and Ascended Master communicator, James Gilliland. During the video, he announced the coming of a major outpouring of God’s spirit on November 23, 2006. My heart raced. That time period certainly rang a bell. I grabbed my journal and found the entry for that date in it. That was the date of my transformation! What he describes in that video of what can happen during such an outpouring is exactly what I experienced. My body began downloading information from a higher frequency. He describes numbers and graphs. Physics, mathematics...creation. I soon began exploring sacred geometry. I began drawing geometric symbols and cutting them out of magazines, pasting them on my wall. I was having my "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" Richard Dreyfuss and the mound of dirt moment. I didn't just stumble upon this video. It was confirmation on so many levels.

Last year, I came across the videos of channeler Rysa5 on youtube. His Goldring videos speak to me and take me back to that transformative experience. I don’t know what to make of it all, but I learned long ago never to discount the revelations of others out of hand. Each of us must learn to trust our own intuition and choose our own paths.

We are all taking a soul’s journey, in this lifetime and over many lifetimes, individually and collectively. Our souls have layers just as there are layers within the universe. I hope you feel the oneness with God’s spirit and the love that binds us all. Keep your heart open. Develop compassion and ask for guidance at every turn, and you will find your own unique way.

Visualization

Many people talk about visualization as though it is something they must learn how to do. The truth is we all perform visualization every day of our lives. Every piece of art you choose to put up on your wall, every photo you display, every color you choose to wear, is a form of visualization. The images we choose to surround ourselves with and the colors we choose all transmit thoughts and emotions to us that shape how we view the world and where we want to go. This self-directed work is all done subconsciously, for the most part, and often, with the help of our spirit guides.

My desktop wallpaper has become one of the most powerful forms of visualization in my experience. Because, as a freelance writer, I spend so much of my time at my home computer, it is vitally important that I choose wisely. This awareness of my desktop wallpaper as a key player in visualizing my life has only recently become evident.

From my last post, you'll notice that I was visualizing coming around Cape Horn--the waves crashing against my vessel, storm clouds overhead--and yet there was the hope and belief that the great Pacific lay just beyond, if I could just hang on. This intuitive visualization came up through my spirit, a kind of knowing that helped guide me through some very difficult times. It was a natural visualization for me--a beautiful metaphor--drawing upon my past life experiences on the high seas as an explorer and navy sailor. In these lives, I learned perseverance and faith. But mind you, I didn't consciously choose this image. I came with the flow of my spirit. I have always pictured myself on the high seas in a great ship. How do you see yourself?

There came a day as I sat down to my computer when the urge to change my desktop image was very strong in me. I was displaying a beautiful, fertile scene featuring a waterfall and stream in vibrant greens, the picture of healing and abundance...I was indeed believing for abundance. I searched for an image that held the message I needed to see that morning, and I found it in a beautiful photo showing the sun breaking through the clouds, its rays casting golden light on everything it touches. Still rounding the Cape, this image brought forth the next phase of my journey...the release, the goal is just ahead, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

It was only after a couple of weeks that I saw the truth of the image. This is how I am. It may have seemed obvious to anyone at the time, but not to me. I choose on instinct and intuition and later I see how the decision made perfect sense....why I kept going back to this image, instead of another. After all, the sky is still rather gray in the image I chose...and yet, it was ideal for what I was feeling...I was still surrounded by obstacles...but I had faith and the image was a reminder.

I lived with this image for weeks, believing that the sun was truly about to break through the clouds of my financial storm. It had been weeks since I'd had any work at all. During my journey around the Cape, the economy worsened, more jobs were lost and the level of despair across the nation increased. But I held on. I would not be tossed upon the rocky shores, I told myself. My emotions ebbed and flowed. Sometimes I was ready to give up and salvage what I could from my ship and go home, but the image of the sun breaking through the clouds was so real to me, I just couldn't give up. And I had my word from God: Wait Upon the Lord. It was posted for me to see.

Then one day, I awoke and I could not look at that image any longer...I was tired of being on the verge of something, breaking, breaking...I needed to land! So I searched for a new image and found one of a beautiful tropical beach, a grass shack on its shores, so peaceful, so landed...it reminded me so much of my soul's longing, my beloved Hawaii...and I continued to work that morning, hoping for a financial breakthrough, but nothing changed. All morning, it was the same.

Then, in the afternoon, the phone rang. It was work and a lot of it....a seed I had planted weeks earlier finally sprouted. And another source opened up, as well, out of the blue. All of it came pouring in like a rising tide, so much so, that now I have more work than I can handle. So it's been awhile since my last post.

I believe I received a prompting from my primary spirit guide to change that image on that dismal Friday morning. They see what's coming, of course. I had been feeling particularly low and defeated that day. Our spirit guides love to be in relationship with us here, in this dimension. They are very playful, watching over us at all times. My hope and my prayer for you is that you will open yourselves up to the unseen world around you. All of the love and guidance of the universe is at your disposal. It only takes a willing heart.

Navigating Rough Seas

I recently read a basic primer on loving-kindness appropriately titled “Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness,” by Sharon Salzberg, a western teacher of Buddhist principles. I felt I needed to revisit these principles as I entered a sea of choppy waters where recriminations and despair would seek to hinder safe passage. I was rounding a Cape Horn, with the belief that a mighty Pacific lay just beyond. Would I hold myself steady as I navigated this difficult passage? All I had was my belief and my strong will. The winds of self-doubt, the winds of bitterness, both came more than once to test my resolve and the worthiness of my vessel, but I prevailed, choosing love as my guide.

Of course, the book was the perfect choice. Books play an important role in my life. I am always studying, seeking answers in books. I reminded myself recently that, although my sun sign is in fire, I have most of my astrological chart in air, the intellectual. And my midheaven is in the air sign of Gemini, the communicator ruled by Mercury, so I like to know that what I learn has a practical application. When I was very young, I thought that libraries were holy places.

This particular book on loving-kindness was sent to me by a dear brother, the brother who sends me his unwanted books on spirituality when cleaning out his cluttered life. These are books he so desperately needs himself—the ones he picks up at used bookstores by the dozens, but has yet to read, and still the search continues. It was revealed to me in a vision that he still carries the heartbreak and bitterness of a disillusioned Jesuit priest from a past life. His grief and anger against God is very deep and entrenched. I refused to go too deep into that vision, as I often take on the emotions of others. This book, this gift, from one who, I am sure, once led me in faith in a past life, arrived in a big fat box the week prior to my needing it. Of course. Do you see the perfect work of Christ in this? Christ's love is more beautiful and poetic than we can imagine.

I do not know of any time in my life when suffering was best met with fear and bitterness. Blaming others for our misfortunes. Blaming God for our misfortunes. Blaming ourselves for our misfortunes. All of this is useless. If we approach our challenges in a more spiritually logical fashion, in practice and with consistency, as the Buddhists do, we will find that the solutions are never far. They are just around the bend. God does not produce suffering, but He will not interfere in our highest lessons about love. It is through understanding the nature of His love that we find our bearings in life. Love in action is dynamic, challenging, a magnificent passage to another peaceful shore.

Pluto in Capricorn

I am very grateful this week. Pluto, the planet of deep transformation, has finally moved on to Capricorn to stay for 16 years as of Nov. 27 (Thanksgiving in the United States). This is exciting news for me because it has been in my sun sign, Sagittarius, since 1995, creating havoc in my “me, myself and I” sector. So the changes were fundamental to my sense of self. The best changes were brought about by a growing inner awareness. But other changes came about as the result of hard lessons, through destruction and chaos. It has been painful at times...so much has been stripped away. Only what is essential to the next phase of my journey has been left behind. And new things have been added. All of us have taken this journey together, of course, in different areas of our lives.

Through it all, one of my favorite expressions became, “Change is good.” Whenever someone in the family or at work reported a situation requiring a new plan, I responded with, “Change is good.” I wasn't a student of astrology for most of this period, but I certainly recognized a pattern for hard change. I can laugh about that expression now, but to survive emotionally, I had to be vigilant about how I looked upon these cataclysmic changes in my life. Keep a positive outlook. Find the silver linings. Find the humor. And I did. And I do. A strong sense of optimism is one of the more useful Sagittarian traits.

A lot of truths about myself were revealed. A lot of bad habits were dealt with. I've lost some people and some new people have arrived. I have found greater peace in my life. Recognizing my personality strengths and weaknesses has helped me to make better choices. I know now where I trip myself up. I also experienced a spiritual awakening which profoundly altered my world view, building upon the sound foundation of a much-treasured personal relationship with God.

With Pluto now settled into my second house, the coming years will put the “new me” to the test revealing just what I’m worth, both figuratively and materially. And, of course, change is never-ending in life, so I am sure there will be more changes to come. I hope they aren't as drastic. I could use a break.

The last time Pluto was in Capricorn was during the American Revolution. If you do a search, you will find numerous online essays about the implications of Pluto’s transits. I hope you will take the time to read some of them. Astrology affects more than just the individual. Most astrologers believe that America, in particular, is about to undergo major changes in its political and economic power structures, and that the end result, after much turmoil, will be a better deal for all of us. With the election of Obama, whose slogan was all about change, and the recent financial collapse, we will see what develops.

To find out what Pluto’s transit through Capricorn means for you, click here.

Bitterness

Is this what your heart looks like? This dried up rootball? Wrapped and trapped. Bitterness strangles the human heart. The heart is the seat of our ability to give and receive love. Makes no sense that we would do this to ourselves, and yet we do.

So what are the seeds of bitterness? Pride. Unforgiveness. The blame game. Think these are benign? Think those thoughts, those feelings, float out into the atmosphere and disappear? Think again.

Bitterness is a hungry, all-consuming living negative energy that loves to dominate the human heart. It makes us sick. It makes us angry. It even makes us ugly. Bitterness prevents the growth of healthy love, which needs fertile ground to take root and prosper.

So love yourself first and be ruthless. Rip the bitterness out of your heart and get some life-sustaining blood flowing back into it. Enrich the soil with compassion, tolerance and humility. Create a new container for unconditional love to grow.

And be diligent. Bitterness can sneak in disguised as just, reasonable and compensating, so be sure to do a weekly weeding. Much easier that way. Unless you like hard work.